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___TRAIN___vs.____FACE

Smeared black ink, your palms are sweaty and I'm barely listening to last demands. I'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's buried underneath where I am. I'll wear my badge. A vinyl sticker with big block letters adherent to my chest that tells your new friends: I am a visitor here I am not permanent. And the only thing keeping me dry is where I am. You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex. A stranger with your door key explaining that i'm just visiting and i am finally seeing why I was the one worth leaving.

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update [ July 4th 2007 & 11:52am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

i havnt wrote in this forever.
but im doing good.
i realy like this kid brian. hes like perfect for me.
i think he is the only good influence in my life right now.
and i need them to try and stay clean
my CW: 146
my HW:166
my GW: 120

STAY STRONG.

a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

ooooooooooooooooooooooooof [ September 28th 2006 & 4:04pm]
i dont even know.
my fucking boyfriend is being an asshole.
and im stuck at 138 poudnds((highest 156)))

im fasting today.
even though i already had 400 cals.
whatever wish me luck
; ]]
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

BORED [ July 11th 2006 & 11:20pm]
today was boring.
just like yesterday
and the day before.


im growing to hate people more and more.
and i feel to mature for my freinds.
fuck
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

[ July 3rd 2006 & 10:42pm]
I don't care and will probably never give two shits if you breathe, unless if i find anything intresting in you. I'm bitter because i'm stuck in a atmosphere full of saps and heartless fucks. I hate living mostly. I find life in general depressing, and i hate majority of the human race. I think the only aspect i enjoy of being a human, is of how complex we are. When i have free time, i drink till i pass out then plant my face in the concrete and enjoy the fact that i'm not aware of my existence or anybody else for that matter. I was born alone and i'm perfectly fine with dying alone. I have nothing and i am nothing. So stop reading this shit and fucking die.

I wake up every single morning, with my body limp, incurious, and insensible. I like to tilt my head back and look up at the beams displayed through my shades, by then i catch myself letting my fingers browse over and about my sheets.. just to feel the perception of my nerves. It helps me realize that i'm in reality. There is not much for me to say of my routines but that I function my body parts daily and shit out my existence. i'm usually awake to see the sun elevate over the horizon..This is only because i never sleep. I like being aware that i, along with mice, are made of 65 percent of water. I enjoy the nature of the ocean, the sea and the sky. I like knowing that my mind is controlled by currents and that i was once nested in a uterus feeding off of a river attached to my navel. It is intresting how pressure controls alot of things, like how life is only granted by the reflexed pressure of a vagina.Really, we are all atoms, evolutionary transformed and carried on by Meiosis and Mitosis. Maybe not. The complexity of living is getting to all of us, To the point where maybe man made objects will come to figure out all of the answers we have been pending on over time. Maybe not. I like how every thing can be a hazard, that majority of things can pollute, the systems of communicating and communication, elements of knowledge, how the meaning of sound and noise differ.. by noise generally defined as unpleasant and sound a vibration perceived by the sense of hearing. And most of all i like how earth’s mass increases each year by 44,000 tons (40000 metric tons).
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

[ February 17th 2006 & 8:36pm]
elevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisseselevatorkisses
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

[ February 15th 2006 & 2:32pm]
Image hosting by Photobucket


Image hosting by Photobucket


Image hosting by Photobucket


Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket


my b i ff l ezz.
Image hosting by Photobucket
Image hosting by Photobucket
a stranger with 2 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

TIRED. [ January 15th 2006 & 12:59pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

i just woke up and its like... 1 o clock.
i am so tired.
3rd fasting day.

yeah so like just been haning out lately.
nothing that great.

i hung out with amanda yesterday. it was fun
i havnt seend her in realy long.

tomororw. i am going to see shaun.
today marina is suposed to come over but i dought she will actually.

well thats all.
goodbye!

a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

CHRISTMAS. [ December 25th 2005 & 4:56pm]
christmas eve:

my mom picked me up from my dads and we also picked up marina and my biff. then we just chilled out untill people starting showing up.
we listened to music REALY loud untill my ears bled. it was relay cute.
anwayzz . we just wondered around outside becuase it was flurrying. i realized i realy love shaun
we came back inside and there was food
i eat.
threw up
then later


i tryed eating.
got sick.
fuck.
shaun went home. so did marina. fell asleep in clothes.


christmas day:
woke up around 10. felt like shit.
died some hair. opened gifts you no same shit.
went to family.
got told i got skinny. I DIDNT.
other shit.
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

school.gay. [ December 15th 2005 & 7:16pm]
blah blah blah nothing reayl to talk about. i died my hair pink and orange its pretty nawesome.

me and shaun have been raely good.
i went to the mall the other day.
tomorrow i am suposed to go to a show with him. but it might like snow for life so i dont no.
saturday haning out with tonia... and i dont no what else.
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

memories suck. [ December 2nd 2005 & 2:55pm]
today is my last day in my school..
i didnt think that i was going to be upset.

but 4th period rang around and i saw my freind amanda crying and she told me how much she is going to miss me.

i BROKE DOWN.

i tryed holding it back and i did.
but then lunch.

me tonia keira bridgette and amanda all say together and amanda started crying again and it was the end.


i am so upset.
i didnt realize how much i truely loved all of them. i was friends with all of them my whole school years and now i am never going to see them again.

i love all of you.



anyway.

the school day isnt over yet. its 9th period..

i have a feeling in 10 min there is going to be a crying fest.
gah.
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

dripping sex frum ehvrry poore. [ December 1st 2005 & 6:52pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. anything. a story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love -- anything. be sure to post honestly. post twice if you'd like. then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.

please, do this.. it will be interesting.

a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

sjdflksjfdlk fd [ November 29th 2005 & 2:24pm]
the show was AMAZING.

moshing was good to .
even tho tuscan DOES NOT ALLOW IT me and some friends started it when the last show came on.

my friend marina got pushed in and screamed .
hahahah.
yeah.
i am moving out of my school and going to charter.
yesss.




ps.
i hate everyone in vernon.
KIL YURSELVES
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

good site [ November 29th 2005 & 10:20am]
http://www.rootv.com/?channel=Rock&clipid=M1468&bitrate=56&format=wmp
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

boys night out [ November 25th 2005 & 4:00pm]
[ mood | excited ]

dude.mahn . hoes. ALL LISTEN..

the new BOYSNIGHTOUT. cd rockkahhs.
go and buy it.
12 songs.
all story based.
plzplzplz buy it.
you will thank.




show tomorrow me barb marina and chrissy.
: ) YAHHH.


lines of coke will be tagging along too.

a stranger with 1 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

crampscrampscramps.. [ November 24th 2005 & 2:06pm]
[ mood | bored ]

happy thanksgiving.
i hate it though, for these reasons.
[1]meat it groooosee.
[2]meat is groose
[3]i have mad cramps and PMS so i am going to
kill anyone i cum across
[4]i dont like food.
[5] saturday is a narly show.
and this day is in the way
[6] there is no point in it. like at all.
[7]i hate associating with family.
[8]MEAT IF FUKINNN GROSS.

: )

a stranger with 2 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

slkdfjslfdjlj scooby. [ November 21st 2005 & 6:17pm]
mah livez be boring.

myspace.com\myspaceiscooliguess

go there thanks.
this saturday i am going to a show with my boyfriend and marina. i miisah her.
she was my best freind FORVER but then me and erica became close.
but
now that erica moved i am gettin closer to marina again.l
i relay wish erica was just still here though becuase she was awesome .
ifucking miss her more than anything.

i am going into charter. CANT FUCKING WAIT

: )
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

slkdjfslfjaslfjsfldjldsj!?!?!?!? [ November 18th 2005 & 12:01pm]
[ mood | confused ]

life sucks right about now.
my therapist says i am addicted to triple C and coke.

and she wants to put me in rehab.
i am not going to go.

my parents are realy upset.

and they arent letting me do ANYTHING.

this saturday i am helping at tech treck. hopefully it can get my mind off of shit.


gah.

a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

touchh me and then just holld meee till i can gett. [ November 8th 2005 & 6:52pm]
SATISFACTION.

hey that song is nice
i am haning out with shaunsicles right now and i am pretty ehhh waht the word.
fucked uhp.

this weekend i might go down the shore to see erika mullins my BESTESTETSETSETSEST freind in the universe.

wensdadadayda is shaunialls birthday. i am going to kick it.
haha.

yah so PEAVE OUT SJFSKLJ . i cant trype fuck it
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

boyfreind house. [ November 5th 2005 & 7:41pm]
bslfdjsklfd.
algebra is ruining my life. i fail it forever and blah.

today i hung out with shaunika.
i was suposed to go to PA tonight to see some myspacers and shit but... no?
nothing else.
i miss coricidin.
a stranger with 0 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

screaming. [ October 27th 2005 & 9:00pm]
i am on the phone with this AMZING kid anthony.
he lives in point pleasant. and lyke me and erica were suposed to hang out with him forever but then we just didnt.
yeah so he screams and sings and plays guitar and drums.. and lives life.

uhm. ANYWAYYYZ.
halloween is soon i am excited mahn.
i am being a raped sluty killed nurse?
OFCOURSE i will summit photos.
a stranger with 2 door keys explaining that i'm just visiting

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